Only The Good Die Young
by dreamer.dancer.writer
Summary: Nick is dying, and Jeff blames himself for not noticing sooner. This is the tale of Nicks last hours and how Jeff copes. Will he be able to continue on without his best friend and love of his life?


**A/N: So I wrote this earlier as a bedtime story for my friend Jay, and she liked it so much I thought I'd stick it on here for the rest of you. And if you read my other Niff fanfic, hopefully this makes up for how shit the chapter was.**

**This one's for you Jay. Even though you've already read it xD**

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Jeff should've seen the signs.

He knew he should've and could've seen them, if only he'd been looking. And he had been looking, watching his boyfriend every possible minute. Jeff knew he'd been looking, but not seeing.

Not seeing how thin Nick had got, how pale, how weak. Nick could barely pick his violin up by the time any of the Warblers had realised something was wrong. Nick had hid it well though. He'd worn baggier clothes than usual, not letting Jeff see him undressed. He'd simply pretended to be as strong as usual, doing everything he used to. He'd blamed the paleness on work exhaustion, which had been fair enough as they had been stupidly busy studying for their exams and rehearsing with the Warblers.

The pain in Jeff was weak today. An empty ache that never went again. Often worse, occasionally better. Jeff knew the pain would never go away. Not when the boy he loved was lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life.

Jeff let out a broken sob, then another and another. They racked his thin frame. Jeff wasn't stupid. He knew he hadn't been eating or sleeping properly for months but he didn't care. He just wanted to be at his boyfriends bedside every waking moment.

The bed Nick shouldn't be in if life was in any way, shape or form fair. Nick shouldn't be ill, he shouldn't have to fight for his life every single minute because Jeff stupidly hadn't seen the signs and made him go to a doctor. Jeff had known something was wrong but hadn't wanted to worry his boyfriend or other friends.

And now he was dying.

Jeff was beating himself up inside, what ifs flying round his head. What if Nick had gone to a doctor sooner. What if Jeff had noticed something was wrong with his boyfriend and made him go to a doctor. What if it hadn't all been Jeff's fault. What if, what if, what if. They flew round his head, never leaving him alone.

Most of them blamed Jeff himself for Nick's illness. Jeff knew it was his fault it hadn't been caught sooner. Jeff was Nick's boyfriend, meant to protect him from the world. And he'd failed. Failed to see all the signs, failed to get Nick to a doctor sooner, failed on everything.

And now Jeff was sat gazing at his one true love, his only love. He looked so pale and weak in the bed, hooked up to a multitude of machines. Jeff didn't know what they did, nor did he care. The only thing that mattered was that it was Nick in the bed, every breath he took fought for, every heart beat numbered.

Jeff knew Nick was approaching the end. Approaching the day when he'd never open his eyes again and let Jeff gaze into their starry, bright depths. Never whisper in Jeff's ear that he loved him and would never let him go. Never curl up on the sofa with Jeff again and while away a whole day, doing nothing but eating crap and watching movies. Never lie in bed together, hugging and kissing whilst the sun streamed through the window and made everything golden.

All gone.

And it was Jeff's fault.

Jeff let the tears fall onto his boyfriends feeble torso and cast his mind back to the day they'd found out Nick was dying.

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It had started off like any other day. Nick and Jeff had woken up together, embraced for a while in Nicks bed before getting up and dressed and grabbing breakfast before heading over to the common room to meet the Warblers for rehearsals.

The rehearsals had gone like every other rehearsal to start with. They had been working hard, banter flying round the room. Having a laugh, the last laugh before everything went wrong and the world would never be the same again. It wasn't till close to the end of the day, as they approached the end of a particularly long, upbeat song where Nick had the solo and it featured a complicated dance routine.

Jeff had been watching him closely through this song, automatically singing the words and dancing the steps. He'd watched Nick get paler and paler and seem to flag a little, but as he'd kept going, Jeff hadn't been too worried.

It wasn't until Nick was in the middle of the last long, drawn out note that it had happened. Nick had simply stopped singing, looked around in a confused daze and then collapsed to the floor.

Jeff had screamed and ran over to his boyfriend. He knelt down next to Nick and collapsed over the brunette, hugging and kissing him. For the first time, Jeff felt just how skinny Nick had got in the last few weeks. His ribs were prominent and his hip bones dug into Jeff. Jeff sobbed harder and harder as he realised his boyfriend was really sick.

The next minutes, hours, days passed in a blur. Jeff barely ate and slept, just sitting at Nick's bedside the whole time. He'd not taken any notice of anyone or anything, just staring at Nick's frail, unconscious frame, crying.

Then there had been the diagnosis.

Cancer.

And it was terminal. There was nothing anyone could do for Nick anymore. Jeff had lost all hope then. Something had died inside the younger boy.

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And now, barely two weeks after that day, they were here. Nearing the end of Nick'ss life. It was too much for Jeff. He wanted to die along with Nick.

Suddenly, Nick gave a weak cough.

"Nick" breathed Jeff through his tears.

"Jeffy" replied Nick quietly, in a broken voice.

"Oh Nicky, please don't die. I don't know what I'd do without you, I can't live without you. I love you Nick. I love you so much but you're leaving me and I can't deal with it" Jeff cried desperately. Nick smiled sadly up at the love of his life.

"I'm sorry Jeffy, but I have to go. Apparently this is my time and I'm ready. I don't want to leave you but I have to. Just remember, stay strong and live for me Jeff. Do everything I couldn't. Win Nationals, dance all over the world, fall in love, get married, have kids, travel the world. Please Jeff. I'll always love you. I'm so glad I got to love you before I go and I'll always look out for you and love you. But you can't spend your whole life pining after me. You have to live it. Fall in love again. You will. You'll find a lovely man who will love you forever, the way I will. You'll marry him and have beautiful kids. Don't forget me. But move on. Please Jeffy" Nick fell silent at this, having spent all his energy on this one speech. Jeff's heart broke a little bit more.

"Oh Nicky, I will. For you. But I'll never stop loving you, not as long as I live" Jeff proclaimed in a desperate voice. Suddenly, he drew a small box out of his pocket. Opening it, he dropped onto one knee. Nick looked in it and gasped. Inside the velvet lined box was a beautiful, simple gold band.

"Marry me Nicky" Jeff said simply.

"Yes Jeffy. Oh yes I will and I'll love you forever" Nick cried and Jeff slipped the ring onto his thin finger. Climbing into Nick's bed, he carefully embraced him around the various wires and tubes leading into Nick.

"Hush now my love" Jeff whispered. "Sleep and I'll be here in the morning"

Jeff and Nick shared a tender, loving kiss full of hope and promise.

It was the last kiss they shared. Nick died that morning in his lovers arms.

Jeff tried to live, he really did. But a world without Nick wasn't a world at all and he died a mere three weeks later of a broken heart.

Nick received Jeff back with open arms and a loving kiss. They were together for an eternity, the way it was meant to be.

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A/N: Reviews would be the most fantastic thing on this earth. Hope you enjoyed it anyway


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